When theory meets practice
I spend much of my time encouraging neurodivergent leaders to value their authenticity. But when it came to updating a simple video for my own website, I struggled to do exactly that.
It was a humbling reminder of a familiar leadership challenge: knowing what makes sense in theory, but finding it harder to live out in practice.
Trying to do it alone
I began by revisiting my old website video. I couldn’t bring myself to listen to it properly, so I muted the sound and read the captions instead. That was enough to confirm what I already knew. It needed updating.
I rewrote the script, using AI to help make it more conversational and closer to my natural voice. On the page, it felt right. But as soon as I sat down and pressed record, everything changed. I became stiff, awkward, and far from myself.
I tried standing at my sit-stand desk, but my hand movements made the desk wobble. I tried stepping back, but it still didn’t feel natural. I found myself stuck in a pattern I see often in leaders: trying to push through alone, even when it clearly isn’t working.
The breakthrough
Things shifted when I stopped insisting on doing it all myself. I asked my adult son for help.
He shares his creative work through a channel called The Atypical Workshop, where he talks openly about his experiences of AuDHD.
We experimented with his camera, autocue and different setups. His feedback was simple: “Be yourself, not someone else.”
That one line changed everything.
Instead of speaking to a lens, I spoke to him. I made eye contact. He nodded, smiled and encouraged me. I relaxed. The words came more easily. What I needed wasn’t better technology. It was connection.
Finding the conditions that work
This brought home something I often say to neurodivergent leaders: thriving depends on finding the right conditions.
For me, that meant standing, moving, and interacting with another person. For someone else, it might mean quiet focus, clear structure, or a different sensory environment altogether.
Leadership isn’t about forcing yourself into a fixed mould. It’s about noticing what helps you show up at your best, and shaping your working conditions around that.
Why “good enough” matters
I also had to let go of perfection. My instinct was to keep aiming for a flawless take. But I didn’t need perfect. I needed it to be real.
Each time I filmed, I relaxed a little more. Each attempt became easier. And I reminded myself that I could always update the video again in the future.
My son and I even plan to film outdoors next time, among the trees, so the setting reflects my long-used metaphor of diverse woodlands and the richness of difference.
For many leaders, and particularly neurodivergent leaders, this matters. Waiting until things feel “perfect” often means waiting indefinitely. In practice, authenticity, courage and “good enough” usually have more impact.
Why this matters for neurodivergent leaders
For neurodivergent leaders, vulnerability is often part of the job. So is the pressure to mask or to meet unspoken expectations.
This experience reminded me that leadership grounded in self-acceptance is not weaker. It is steadier, more sustainable, and more human.
It left me reflecting on a simple question: what might change if you gave yourself permission to be good enough, and trusted that your strengths are already visible?
Closing thought
Authentic leadership isn’t about performing perfectly or ticking every box. It’s about showing up in ways that work for you, and allowing others to see the value that difference brings.
If you’d like to explore how coaching can help you recognise and work with your own leadership strengths, I’d be glad to have that conversation.
And if you’d like to see the video in question, you can visit my about page.